#GoodNews: The dilemma of a divorce can be prevented

20131127-120419.jpg

The Divorce Dilemma

I read this story [ http://j.mp/divorcedilemma ]months ago. It might have been last year. But it is a good lesson. We don’t know what someone is going through unless we are intimately interested and investing in them.

One of us might be fighting depression at home or one of us might be overworked at the new job and instead of burdening our spouse we bottle up our battles in order to protect our loved one.

That only works for a season. Eventually you are swallowed whole from the inside out emotionally, physically, & spiritually.

By the time you notice there is no romance, connection, or intimacy it feels way too late to begin sharing deep down feelings and emotions which you have harbored for so long.

The only stat that strikes me is not that 50% of people divorce (they say 45% & 50% of Christians), but the stat of 99% of married couples that pray together stay together.

Prayer is one of the most intimate tools God has given us. It allows us to open our hearts and share what we have on them. If we do this with our spouse we can remain intimate and we can be there for one another like we should be.

After all, marriage is a spiritual and sacred bond and triunion of two flesh becoming one with our Father God as the apex.

So let’s keep Jesus the center of our marriage and continue to keep all the communication open to prevent any battles that may afflict us when we are not together throughout each day.

#GoodNews: Marriage relationship mirrors Christ #DrawNear #Intimacy

THE ENEMY OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is the most meaningful and tender of all human relationships. Spouses open themselves up to each other as they do to no other person, even to their parents. As that relationship matures and trust deepens, their spiritual awareness also deepens. Thus, the enemy of God and man, Satan, designs to destroy these deepening relationships. If we believe the Bible, we have to believe there is a devil working to undo everything God has done.

Satan is the enemy of our marriage. He hates marriage and all that it represents because the tenderness of that relationship opens us up to God. In addition, the sacredness of marriage is related to Christ’s relationship with those who follow Him. Marriage is symbolic of the church. After admonishing the husband and wife to love each other, Paul says their relationship mirrors that of Christ and the church: This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32).

Satan knows that in partnership there is strength. Therefore, he seeks to divide and destroy. He desires to isolate us from our mate through misunderstanding and stubbornness until we become easy prey for him. But we can fight the devil and stay strong by staying together spiritually

20130828-204807.jpg

#GoodNews: Married couples prevent divorce with submission #DrawNear #Intimacy #Divorce

SELFISHNESS

The second major cause for divorce, psychologists say, is obnoxious behavior. For example, divorces can be precipitated by excessive drinking, drug addiction, uncontrollable temper, moodiness, and unreasonable demands. Such behavior creates a climate of crisis which makes marriage difficult. These are all signs of selfishness; and God’s Word calls them sins, not character weaknesses.

Not long ago, an intensive study was made of one thousand married couples. After all the interviews, studies, and evaluations, ten major problems stood out. Unhappy partners (1) didn’t think alike in many things, (2) had little insight into each other’s feelings, (3) said things that hurt each other, (4) felt unloved, (5) felt they were taken for granted, (6) needed someone to confide in, (7) felt they had to give more than the other, (8) rarely complimented one another, (9) desired more affection, and (10) couldn’t talk to one another.

In reviewing these problems, it becomes obvious the mates were selfish. That’s what sin really is: selfishness. All sin is selfishness, insisting on one’s own way rather than walking in God’s way. It is tragic but true that most enter marriage asking “What can I get out of it?” rather than “What can I give?” It is indeed difficult to live with a mate whose selfishness manifests itself in obnoxious behavior. Such a mate makes God’s commandments hard to live by.

20130828-061425.jpg

#GoodNews: Divorce lawyer finds real love is hot! #DrawNear #Intimacy

BITTERNESS

A divorce lawyer once said, “There is nothing as cold as cold love.” His statement is contradictory, for real love can never be cold. What he meant is nothing hardens the heart more than love which has turned to bitterness. God specifically commands that we not become bitter. Paul adds: Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice (Ephesians 4:31). Bitterness freezes our souls.

Marriage will make us either better or bitter. Which we become depends a great deal on our attitudes. The Bible says: Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them (Colossians 3:19). Because we come from different backgrounds and have different views of life, we may easily drift into bitterness by allowing misunderstandings to drive us apart. This must not happen.

Our homes are not to be centers of conflict but sanctuaries from the hassles of life. So sometimes the wisest thing to do is retreat. Both husband and wife must be willing to give in. The Bible says: Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled (Hebrews 12:14-15). Whole families are often poisoned because they are disobedient to this commandment of our Lord.

20130813-215817.jpg

#GoodNews: Secret to end Divorce epidemic found in Christian Marriage

Serious Business

Sociologists say our age is more polygamous than any other in history. Perhaps our polygamy wears a different face, but in principle it is the same. When partners divorce, remarry, divorce and remarry again, they are accumulating spouses. In some areas of our world, the rate is as high as one out of every two marriages dissolving in divorce. This cycle of union and separation is absolutely contrary to God’s Word.

The new U.S. Census Bureau data show that the divorce rate, after rising sharply in the early 1970’s, has remained relatively stable-not to mention high. Fewer than half the couples who first got married in the late 1970’s made it to their 25th anniversary. Of the women who first got hitched in the late 1980’s, only 57% reached their 15th anniversary, compared with 79% of brides in the late 1950’s.

Jesus says we are to leave our parents and “cleave to” our spouses. The verb cleave suggests there are times when we have to hold on tightly and tenaciously. Paul plainly agrees: Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10). He adds a word to the husbands: … And a husband is not to divorce his wife (1 Corinthians 7:11).

Marriage, according to God’s Word, is to be exclusive. Man is to worship one God and devote himself to one mate. The Old Testament stated that anyone guilty of coming between a husband and a wife would be put to death. Jesus goes even beyond the law forbidding adultery and says that anyone who cultivates the wish to commit adultery is already guilty of it in his heart.

Marriage is a covenant of love and loyalty between one man and one woman. It is a sacred relationship that should not be taken lightly, just as our relationship with Christ cannot be taken lightly.

20130812-221341.jpg

† Devo † No More Hiding #AnchorFAM #ParentingByDesign

After Adam and Eve ate from the tree, they realized they were naked. In response, they hid from God and sewed fig leaves together to cover their nakedness. God’s response to Adam’s sin was a question: “Where are you?” Now, you can be certain that God had not misplaced Adam! He asked the question for Adam’s benefit, not His.

The legacy of Adam and Eve’s act is that we are still hiding today. Shopping, food, drug and alcohol abuse, and sometimes even exercise represent our “fig leaves.” Still, God continues to ask us, “Where are you?” He is calling for us to come out of hiding and into a relationship with Him.

What an example for parents! Call your kids out of hiding by asking open-ended questions and listen to their answers with understanding, rather than meeting them with judgment and shame. If you need to give consequences for their disobedience, choose to give those consequences with empathy.

Meeting your kids with empathy helps them come out of hiding and into relationship.

But the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, Where are you? 10He said, I heard the sound of You [walking] in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.

Genesis 3:9-10

Sermon Notes: #DealingWithDivorce Jesus died for all sins. Not just the bad ones.

There is not one sin that is better or worse than the others.
From divorce to homosexuality to abortion you can approach sin with legalism or liberalism. But God is neither nor. God is just and righteous. Always. And forever.

The Bible is authoritative
God is gracious
We are to be gentle

People need a biblical understanding without being beat me up!

Justifications of divorce come by Moses = Adultery, Paul = Abandonment, but Jesus = Don’t divorce, just stay Married. God united two into one, therefore, let no man separate what He creates.

Marriage is the Pursuit of Holiness. Not the Pursuit of Happiness.
Sometimes it takes a lot of Blisters before you can embrace Bliss.

What God has put together He can hold together!!!

Trust The Lord. He can do miracles. Amen.

1 Cor 7:10-17. Matthew 19:1-3. Deut. 24. Mark 10.

To the married people I give charge–not I but the Lord–that the wife is not to separate from her husband. But if she does [separate from and divorce him], let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. And [I charge] the husband [also] that he should not put away or divorce his wife.

To the rest I declare–I, not the Lord [for Jesus did not discuss this]–that if any brother has a wife who does not believe [in Christ] and she consents to live with him, he should not leave or divorce her. And if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she should not leave or divorce him.

For the unbelieving husband is set apart (separated, withdrawn from heathen contamination, and affiliated with the Christian people) by union with his consecrated (set-apart) wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean (unblessed heathen, outside the Christian covenant), but as it is they are prepared for God [pure and clean].

But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace. For, wife, how can you be sure of converting and saving your husband? Husband, how can you be sure of converting and saving your wife?

Only, let each one [seek to conduct himself and regulate his affairs so as to] lead the life which the Lord has allotted and imparted to him and to which God has invited and summoned him. This is my order in all the churches.

(1 Corinthians 7:10-17 AMP)

NOW WHEN Jesus had finished saying these things, He left Galilee and went into the part of Judea that is beyond the Jordan; And great throngs accompanied Him, and He cured them there. And Pharisees came to Him and put Him to the test by asking, Is it lawful and right to dismiss and repudiate and divorce one’s wife for any and every cause? He replied, Have you never read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate). They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife? He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained]. I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. The disciples said to Him, If the case of a man with his wife is like this, it is neither profitable nor advisable to marry. But He said to them, Not all men can accept this saying, but it is for those to whom [the capacity to receive] it has been given. For there are eunuchs who have been born incapable of marriage; and there are eunuchs who have been made so by men; and there are eunuchs who have made themselves incapable of marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let him who is able to accept this accept it.

(Matthew 19:1-12 AMP)

WHEN A man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, And when she departs out of his house she goes and marries another man, And if the latter husband dislikes her and writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife, Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance. When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken.

(Deuteronomy 24:1-5 AMP)